The Stepmom Letters: The Best Gift

Dear Jessica,

As your stepmom it is my greatest wish to be a blessing in your life. To instill important lessons and teach you key things that will help you become an adult in this wild world.

To make sure you leave the nest with a healthy respect for budgeting, the ability to do your own laundry, and memories of family days filled with nothing but good food, bad television, and more laughter than should be humanly possible.

But if I couldn’t do that, if I couldn’t give you those things, I would still feel like I succeeded.

Why?

Because the best gift I could possibly give you is a good marriage.

I know, without a doubt in my mind, that my marriage to your dad is my greatest earthly gift (I got you out of it, after all, am I right? 😉) and I know that you see it, too.

You hear our laughter, our support, and our apologies.

You see our care, our playfulness, and our affection for one another.

We kiss in the kitchen and you roll your eyes and groan sarcastically but I know in my heart that someday you’ll be grateful for it.

I love you by loving him well.

I love you by making mistakes and openly apologizing for them.

I love you by affirming him and joking with him and dancing in the kitchen with him.

There’s so much pressure on stepmoms to “do more” or “do less” or “step in” or “step back” and it can be really overwhelming to know what the right thing to do is at any given time. Sometimes it feels confusing and frustrating to not know what’s the best thing for your stepkids and for your marriage and for yourself. It’s so encouraging to know that, at the end of the day, showing you what a healthy relationship looks like can make the biggest difference of all.

You’ve gone through so much in such a short time, sweet girl, and I know that there are a million ways for me to love you through all of it.

I hope I’ve done my part to do just that.

But if the biggest thing I’ve done is show you a good, healthy, silly, strong marriage?

Well, then I’ve done my job.

Love you forever kiddo.

Love,

Grady

All photos by Alba Lumos Photography